What characteristics make a “real” man?

Latte – would you drink this, maybe not if you’re a “real” man??

One always speaks about these things in caution, as there is always some naysayer out there who will finding something wrong with this type of article. I can hear them now, “Oh, it’s demeaning to men, or coffee drinkers or balding men”. Well, as a bald man that drinks coffee, I’m not offended. So, let’s take the lighter side of this one, especially as this is really meant to be tongue in cheek.

How many of the “real” man characteristics below do you have?

Real Men don’t wear Pink – the reason why is obvious, Pink is a girl’s colour. But in marketing Blue is generally used for marketing Boys products, similarly Pink is generally used for Girls products. The answer lies in advertising.

Real Men don’t drink latte – a little trickier but had you ever heard a labourer ask for a skinny, soy latte. I think not, real men drink black coffee, the stronger the better and no sugar allowed!!

That leads to the next one – Real Men don’t drink Decaf – what were they thinking when they created Decaf, it isn’t coffee without the caffeine … and if you refer to the point above the stronger the coffee the better, so strong, skinny, soy lattes don’t count.

Real Men don’t drink Light Beer – actually you are better off drinking full strength beer as some of the ingredients to make the beer “light” can have adverse effects (apart from the obvious!!) on the human body.

Real Men like their liquor strong – unfortunately yours truly fails this one, but back in the day the upscale from beer on a night out was a “neat” single malt scotch, although straight tequila and /or vodka are amongst the preferred drinks of real men.

Real Men don’t do comb-overs – that’s right if you’re going bald either cut your hair really short or shave your head, it’s more fashionable and practical. Plus the ladies probably like it, although I would need confirmation on that one!!

Real Men eat meat – and lots of it!!! One of the best meals for a real man is meat lover’s pizza and beer. It provides enough sustenance for a big night out especially as they’re drinking full strength beer and potentially hard liquor by night’s end.

Real Men have a working knowledge of sport – real men understand that sport is organised warfare without the bullets. They should be able to grasp the concept of whatever sport that is on TV and be able to explain the rules if needed. Ideally they will have a team they support in every code but there will only ever be one team that they barrack for that rises above all others and nothing will get in the way of a real man and that team!!

… and finally Real men don’t cry – unless you spill his Farmers Union Iced Coffee !!

So lads, how did you stack up against the list? And ladies how many “real” men do you know?